My little, baby Sunshine - Summer
The song playing now, suits this post perfectly... (Which is also the first song in my music playlist)
My little chirpy sunshine should be by Daddy God's side now.. :'(
Summer, Summer.. My little sunshine.
This picture of you above was the first time you ever stood with your strong feet! Time passes so fast. I could
still remember the first time I saw you in the pet shop..
Among 4 other baby birds like you - same colour and everything, lying in the cage without moving as all
4 were too young to move, I chose you. I've never regretted choosing you, it's just that, why did you have to leave
so early?
I wonder where are you by now. In heaven, by daddy God's side? Chirping happily - not in pain? Chirping
happily with the other friends of yours?
Summer, I want to tell you that I miss you very much already. No words can exactly pinpoint what
I'm feeling and tortures I'm going through now. :'(
I just wanna tell you that it really torments me whenever I try to think of how you passed on. That hideous scene.
When you had your last breath. I'm so glad that I didn't have to witness how God took you away...
Summer, I think I'm going insane already. Endless memories of you floods my mind whenever and wherever
I am/doing. It hurts. Heartbreaking. Whenever I hear 'Beauty and The Beast', I'm reminded of
you.
I remembered, we used to 'sing' along to that song - I hum while you chirp along.
Who will be there to chirp along when I hum to 'Beauty and The Beast' again?
It feels like someone had just ripped a part of my flesh off. You were like, family to me. Like, my very own
flesh and blood.
Your everything consist of all of my efforts..
I hand-fed you, taught you how to hop around, taught you how to fly, listen out to your name and recognise it,
taught you how to chirp, drink water and eat seeds on your own...
And now, you're gone. It's heart wrenching.
Like a mother who had just lost her child.
Like a proud winner but someone was jealous and stole his prized medal.
Like the ugly duckling, whom his family had abandoned him..
Remember, Summer? This was the first time you stood up on your claws after your legs became stronger.
And soon after, you'd learnt how to cling your claws around poles. I was terribly proud of you..
When you were younger, you'd be able to sleep everywhere. After playing, you'd just be able to doze off on my
palms..
..Or in the handmade nest I'd created for you, under your favourite soft, blue blankie.
.
.
To sidetrack for a bit, there was only one thing related to you, that I was unhappy and guilty about.
From the way you interacted with me, I clearly knew that you'd be able to decipher some human languages and
actions.
There was once, I trusted you with Jin Long (my ex colleague from Camouflage), but he downright spat
it in my face - literally - that he was treating you as his effing toy.
That was the only thing that I'm still feeling guilty of. You treated him with so much warmth and everything, yet,
he was so inhuman to treat you as his toy. I'm sorry that he'd treated you that way - like his toy. It hurts
me a lot as I'm typing this out.
You deserve nothing like this, sunshine.. You're as warm as the sun, as cheerful as little ducklings playing
in the pond for the first time, as obedient as a little child who obeys his dear mother and always so lovable to everyone.
Everyone fell instantly with you at the first interaction you had with them. You were like a drug. A good drug.
A happy drug that kept everyone happy and accompanied.
You were everything I could ever ask for..
.
.
Whenever I'm in the kitchen, staring at the cage in a daze, I'm always imagining you hopping, walking, flying
around the cage, waiting for me to bring you out--and do you remember the open-door-game I'd always play with you?
Now, when I open one of the cages' doors, there's no one there to rush out of the cage through the opened door
like you did..
No one who would reply my fake bird chirps. And my fake chirps sound so much like yours that
everybody knew that I was imitating you and you'd happily chirp away with me in response.
There's no one to climb playfully up my arm from my finger, to my shoulders and then try to climb up to my head
with my hair acting as a rope.
The trumpet of the family. The little, playful baby of the family, your family - us - misses you too badly already
and it was only yesterday when you were gone.. The agony.
.
.
I'd not be able to call your name again, Summer.. But my heart will always be echoing out your name.
I'd not be able to hear your chirps and see your face again.. But my mind will always be replaying those memories
we had created them together like a broken recording set.
So...
'Til we meet again when my time comes..
Don't open your little eyes and rest in peace, my little warm sunshine.
P/S: I love you, Summer.. Nicky and the rabbits, especially Sofie, misses you too.
P/S/S: Although I still can't believe that you're gone, you'll always be in my heart. Forever. <3
Miss you always, Summer; 26th December 2009
xoxo
-T
